Forgive and Forget
by NiftyRobot
Summary: In Light's final moments, he has a strange vision involving L and Nothingness. Warnings and spoilers inside, because I'm too lazy to try and fit it in the summary box.


Warnings: Slight shonen-ai (boys huggin'), bloody stuff, language.

SPOILERS!: The shit that goes down in episode 25, episode 37, and L's real name.

Disclaimer: If I owned Death Note, would I really be writing fanfiction about it?

The stairs are cold and painful against his back, but nowhere near the pain he feels in the holes burrowed into his body from the bullets. The blood seeping from the wound on his hand is beginning to dry and stain his skin. His breathing is heavy and comes out in sputtered gasps. Any ordinary person would immediately call for help; but when the men chasing him come across his battered figure, they think, "_How pitiful."_

He closes his eyes, thinking it'll help the pain go away. The backs of his eyelids are strangely white and he becomes enveloped in it.

He feels lighter, like a huge weight has been lifted from him. But he feels colder, too. He sits cross-legged with his back against a white wall, and his arms clenched around his stomach. He's bent over like he's in pain, but he's merely thinking. He doesn't open his eyes. He feels safe if he doesn't look around; he knows damn well where he is. He hears soft footsteps but he doesn't look up when they stop.

"Light Yagami."

He tenses at the voice. He knows damn well who that is, too. He doesn't speak, nor does he look up.

"Come on. Did you really think you'd never have to see me again? …Kira?"

"You don't know half of it." Light says, his back coming off the wall as he leans farther forward, his nose almost touching the floor. He looks up at the person talking to him, his eyes darting from one feature to the next. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

The figure shifts on his feet slightly, thinking.

"Well, this is Nothingness. I got…bored of sitting and staring at white all day. I figured you wouldn't be alive much longer. My heirs are not incompetent little kids, after all. So I took a walk that lasted a few years and finally found you." He almost smiles.

Light untangles himself, now sitting with his knees pressed against his chest and staring up at the man. "You were looking for me? …But aren't you angry at me?"

The man sits down beside Light in a strange position, half squatting and half curled into a ball.

"At first. But I realized I had been right all along. Light Yagami is Kira."

Both of them are silent. After what feels like hours, Light speaks.

"I saw your name."

Light feels like a child, not knowing what to say to this man. He feels angry, sad, happy, and confused all at once.

"Yes, I figured you would eventually." The man looks sad now, staring at the ground.

"It's a nice name; Lawliet." Light says quietly. "I like how it sounds."

Lawliet doesn't say anything. He presses his thumb against his bottom lip, looking hurt.

"I…" Light looks at the black haired man next to him. He doesn't know what to say, he just knows he has to say something.

He places a hand on Lawliet's shoulder, causing the man to look at him.

He takes a deep breath. "I'm…I'm sorry."

Then, just like that, Lawliet's eyes light up. His face is still expressionless, but his eyes are alive.

"I wish I had never picked up the Death Note. I wish I would've just left it in the grass for some other loser to find. I always wonder what it would've been like if I had just carried on with my normal life…" Light says suddenly, eyes straying off of the pale face in front of him and onto the white beyond.

"I wish you hadn't picked it up too, Light, but then I never would've met you or the task force. I'd be working on some other murder case much less exciting. It's an awful thing to say, I know, but it's true." Lawliet says, looking Light in the eyes.

"How can you be so…forgiving? I killed so many people, I can't count them all. I forced others to kill as well, just because it was convenient on my part. I don't see how you're even talking to me right now. I killed you, even when you thought I was your friend."

Lawliet looks hurt again. Light thinks that the most emotion he's ever seen from the great L.

"…I-I'm not sure. I think…I think there's something about you that I can't deny. I…can't let you go." Lawliet says quietly, his voice shaking ever so slightly. "I knew you didn't think of me as a friend…it makes more sense to me if you didn't…but…I don't…know how to explain this. This is strange…this feeling…"

Lawliet wraps his arms around his stomach, his eyes wide. His heart races and he's scared.

Light doesn't know what to say. He had a pretty good idea of what L was feeling, but he wasn't sure if he felt the same or not. He knew he wasn't Kira anymore; he didn't have the desire to kill L again. No, he wants to comfort L this time. He scoots closer to Lawliet and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

"It's okay. It's not a bad feeling, is it?"

"N-no…but it…it tickles…it's strange…" L says, looking scared to death.

Light smiles a little.

"It's alright, it's normal to feel that way around someone you like."

L looks at him.

"…I think I like you." He says, still looking terrified.

Light laughs and hugs L.

"I like you too."

His eyes open, back to the staircase and the dripping ceiling. The pain is back, and it's worse. His wounds sting like hell and his breathing is even worse. There's someone standing at the bottom of the staircase, watching him.

The figure has messy, midnight colored hair that covers his eyes. His hands are jammed into the pockets of his baggy faded blue jeans. Light looks at the man, struggling to breathe.

"Was it worth it?" The man asks.

There's a beautiful sunset out the window, but he doesn't bother looking. He's realized what the question truly means. He feels like crying. He's missed out on all the beautiful things in life. He tried to make the world beautiful, but he made it even uglier than it was already. For a split second, he thinks about an answer.

"No." he whispers, and a wrenching pain attacks where his heart is supposed to be. He closes his eyes, and spends his last seconds alive thinking about what could've been.

Let me know what you think, and feel free to point out any spelling or grammar mistakes. :)


End file.
